…but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. (Philippians 4:6)
I have always loved joining the APC-KK in their monthly adoration. Personally, apart from the weekly masses or liturgies, the adoration is a channel of reassurance for me. So tonight, as usual I went with Mama. Ever since the FSP convent in KK started its renovation, adorations have been held at the Franciscan Carmelite chapel nearby. Tonight was no different. Except for one thing – the brewing uncertainty. Papa Marcus has been sick lately. In fact, his health was deteriorating.
I was told that after the adoration tonight, we would have a short discussion about the coming APC annual retreat this weekend, and practice session for the songs that we would be singing during the retreat’s masses. At first, I was excited to attend the retreat, despite being a non-member but when a very dear person becomes unwell, it changes everything. I was divided. I had second thoughts. I came to the adoration, determined to excuse myself from the retreat, already thinking to have my aunt, Ma’s sister, to take my place.
Once we arrived at the temporary FSP bookstore where the discussion was to be held, as half-hearted as I was then, I told them I could not go. That should have been it. But as always, things do not really go my way. When the APC members began to practice their songs, I tried to let it pass. There goes the first song, second song but when the third song was sung, only the Lord knows what I felt then.
“Go. Do not worry. He will be okay. I will look after him while you are away. I always have.” I swear I heard that voice and something nudged me to cancel my withdrawal.
Long story short, at the end of the day, I came home having confirmed my attendance for the coming retreat.
